Ring of Fire

I haven't had a true "Monday" in a while, so I guess I was due...

Yesterday morning I was trying to boil some water to make oatmeal, but I turned on the wrong burner. Normally there's nothing else on the stove, so while it would still be bad, it wouldn't actually cause a problem. But since it was a Monday, there was a cast-iron pan with bacon grease on the other burner, which after a few minutes on high heat, caught on fire. Yes, that's right--I started a grease fire in the kitchen a mere 15 minutes after waking up. (And what did YOU do this morning?)

I was checking my trashy gossip websites when I realized that I hadn't heard the teakettle whistle yet, so I went into the kitchen. There was this acrid black smoke filling up the whole kitchen and flames leaping from the bacon greas-y pan. It was at this point that the smoke alarms started going off--a little late in my opinion. Like a complete idiot I started screaming for Larry, who fortunately had the good sense to get the fire extinguisher and put it out. He was also VERY gracious about the whole thing, more so than I think I would have been in the same situation; I mean, really, what a stupid thing to do. But on with the fun!

You may be asking, how long does it take to clean up a small kitchen grease fire? I now know the answer, and it is 2 days and counting. I can't imagine what people do when their whole house catches fire, or even one room. In addition to the pan catching fire, 2 spatulas and a non-stick pan were also ruined, sending little bits of melted plastic into the air along with the smoke, ash, and fire extinguisher powder. This awesome mixture is now on approximately every surface in the entire house. To make it even better, a couple of cupboard doors were open at the time of the fire, so we have had to wash every dish in the kitchen--and by wash I mean scrub, then wash, then scrub again--and wipe out the cupboards. By the time we're done, I think the kitchen will be cleaner than it was when we moved in. (And in a really sick way, I'm kind of excited about it.)

One bonus of setting your kitchen on fire? You get to eat out a lot! But seriously, I have definitely learned my lesson. And we're turning in that renters' insurance application ASAP.